The One Armed Boxer vs. the Flying Guillotine

Alright, I’m gonna throw this down for all you martial arts fans. And none of that weak-ass computer generated Kung-feaux which has been the rage lately. This goes out to the hard core Hong Kong gang bangers. I’m talking Du bi quan wang da po xue di zi. One more time in English for the homies in the back: The One-Armed Boxer Versus the Flying Guillotine! (Alternative title: Master of the Flying Guillotine)

It’s 1974. Bruce Lee is dead. Jackie Chan is a stunt double struggling to be discovered in the cutthroat Hong Kong film industry. Enter: well, not the Dragon, but the next best thing - Jimmy Wang Yu. This versatile martial artist wrote, directed and starred in this overlooked kung fu masterpiece following the breakup of his collaboration with the legendary Shaw Brothers. After the insane box office success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, old Hong Kong classics like TOABVTFG and Iron Monkey are enjoying renewed interest and American releases. And trust me, these movies are so cool, you’ll be drunken shadow punching your dog in the face in no time.

The story in any martial arts film, just like any porno, is always secondary to the action. Set during the collapse of the Ming Dynasty in China, a group of revolutionaries oppose the new ruling Chings and their deadly henchmen, led by the mysterious, blind monk assassin named Fung Sheng Wu Chi. He has not only sworn vengeance on the one-armed man who killed his brethren, he has mastered the obscenely cool weapon known to the ancients as the Flying Guillotine as well. Imagine a spiked beanie hat with a pull string that the operator hurls at people’s heads, wielding it like a devastatingly lethal Yoyo of Justice, and you might begin to appreciate the sweetness of this portable decapitator. All the fun of a full size guillotine in a travel size package, it even has a carry case. In one of the movie’s highlights, the Master demonstrates its power on a chicken that is in the wrong place at the very wrong time. It’s also funny to watch the Master, who’s played by 20 year-or-so-old actor King Kong (his actual name), portray a man of maybe 80 or 90 years, with the help of about 2 pounds of makeup. But the One-Armed Boxer is no pushover, either. Don’t let his handicap fool you - just ‘cause he can’t clap doesn’t mean he can’t tear off your leg and beat you with it. And Jimmy Wang Yu’s good arm is really strong. (Although the actor clearly has both arms in real life; watch as he tries to keep his other arm tucked into his shirt).

Much of the best action takes place in the extended tournament sequence midway through the film, where an amazing variety of global fighting styles are showcased. This fighting championship formula would be copied countless times in many inferior American movies (often starring Jean-Claude “Double the Van-Dammage!” Van Damme) and video games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, which blatantly steal characters from this film. Determined to kill the One-Armed Boxer, Fung Sheng Wu Chi makes his way to the tournament and decapitates every one-armed man he meets on the way (they are surprisingly common, and all helpfully lack the same arm). Most of the main characters have awesome theme music that announces when they arrive, warm-up, fight, exit, take a shit, etc., and depending on which version you’re watching, the audio will randomly change from subtitles to dubbed dialogue, which is great fun as well. The fight choreography is outstanding, with sword fighting, knife fighting, pole fighting, monkey Fu, Eagle Claw, wrestling, tonfas, Thai boxing, and just about any other form of hand-to-hand combat imaginable. Hell, they even invent a few, like yoga fighting and hair whipping.

Combine this with the incredible foot-torture scene and the final epic showdown, and you’ve got one badass chopsocky flick. If this movie doesn’t have you practicing your karate takedowns on your roommate, you deserve a flying dropkick to the kidney.

-Andy Gately, 2004